This weekend as I sat down to prepare my weekly grocery list, I realized that this time I needed to make a list of what I need versus what I want. As I reviewed the list on my way, I couldn't help but feel as though something important had been omitted.
The grocery store has always fascinated me. As I child I always accompanied my mom to the store as she stocked up for the month, and as a reward for "helping" her shop I got a candy bar, and If I was a really good girl I got two. The practice almost never changed. Even when I old enough, we walked through various aisles of the store looking at different brands of tomato puree while she contemplated between the one with an attractive label and the one with a picture that reminded her of her mom, only to ultimately settle on the brand that was on sale. The 2 hour trip always ended with a bar of chocolate, her way of thanking me for the company.
This time, the trip wouldn't require me hovering at the chocolates/baking needs isle. I had to steer clear from confectionery and the free samples of the walnut brownies. I had to walk to vegetables section and get my broccoli and squash and get out! The seemingly mundane task of grocery shopping seemed unfathomable and I couldn't do it. I couldn't walk past the isle as the chocolates cried out, Pick Me. Buy Me. Eat Me. I realized I wasn't ready. I wasn't strong enough for it. I decided to let the enemy win this round. I beseeched my to do the task for me and stick to the list and he complied.
As I look back, I wonder if failure includes not to fight at all or is it a sensible war tactic to back off when you are unsure of your strength. Whatever maybe I am glad I didn't succumb to the charms of candy and so am guilty free.
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